| | ..So it's probably because I'm supposed to get my period in a few days, but shit has been going down, and I am unbearably angry about it.
Yesterday Ashley.. yeah, Ashley, you know which one... called me up, yes actually called me, and asked me if she could stay at my house for a few days, because her dad kicked her out. She was like,"You are literally the last person left, and I really need your help"
Mom obviously said no, saying that Ashley was just using her and I, and would probably end up stealing shit, and at the very minimum totally fuck with me again..
*sigh* So, because mom was all like, "you'll be mad at me if I don't help out" we offered to pick her up and drive her to a shelter. We got her address, and drove across town, and were lost in fucking suburbia for fucking ever because SHE GAVE US A FUCKING ADDRESS TO A FUCKING HOUSE THAT DOESNT FUCKING EXIST!
I just feel so used... still, again! Like.. WHY!? Why after two fucking years does she have to still be toying with me!? This isn't fucking fair... I don't think I deserve this..
I mean, I'm so ANGRY! Angry that I let this happen. She knows how I felt, she knows what this would do to me... And now she's "gone to BC to live with her mom." WHO FUCKING KNOWS if that's true!?
I'm angry.. yesterday I just wanted to break things, hurt things.. and earlier on in the week I was down, and I didn't want to eat... ((but my amazing friends made me, thanks Maddie <33)) Today something as small as not knowing how to make sleeves fit onto the bodice of this dress I'm making made me want to attack the concrete walls and floor with my fists and body. I don't know how to get rid of this though... like. I want to hurt something, and then it'll go away until something else pisses me off, even a little stupid thing like sleeves and I'll just want to wreck things again!
Oh well... I'll get over it I guess... |
| | Posted 4/5/2009 10:11 PM - 42 Views - 4 eProps - 4 comments
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