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impure0purest
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Name: Dom :D
Metro:
Gender: Female
Interests: Alot of things... I really dont know what to put here....
Expertise: I'm really good at talking, and I'm working on writing... I'm a good friend though
Occupation: Student, Sales Associate at 7-
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
3/14/2006
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| JUNE!
Dom gets a girlfriend, lovely girl named Stacey.... was set up with Stacey through a mutual friend named Jenney.
All through this month and next (and previous, but who cares...) Dom and Stacey go on many fun dates, and life is good.
July...
I saw Green Day, Green Day are sell-out assholes, Thanks a bunch to Maddie and Stacey who helped me through this.. when the 17th rolls along, Stacey and I celebrate our one month WOO HOO! Apparently she's gone all the way, but never been with anyone this long ever. WOW. I'm tempted to say 'slut', but I'm constantly horny as hell so whatever.
August!
Two months with Stacey, yay! I turn 18, fun times at the strippers with My BEST FRIEND FOREVER FOR LIFE FOR OMG VAGINAS! Wishing I could have brought Stacey... she's only 16 at this point...
September
So my house is half an hour's walk to Stacey's school, so I start going over for lunch every day, it's nice, her friends are cool, work is five minutes away... all is good. Three months is comprised of dinner, and an hour of making pout shirtless on my bed... hottest I've ever been, glad it's only gonna get better.... *apparently*
October...
Now begins the trouble... things are good until the 17th... I don't get to see Stacey on our four month anniversary, for some reason or another, but I tell her I love her. Of course all out communication is through text, so this tidbit of information is given through text too, whatever. From then on, things go downhill..... excuses excuses excuses time and time again, six weekends in a row I'm 'not allowed' to see my girlfriend........... ouch.
November
So, I can't believe I thought it was actually her parents that stopped us from seeing eachother... Stacey doesn't believe I love her, she's only getting skinnier (she's already way too skinny...), I feel like she doesn't like me at all.... It all feels so FAKE! the 7th is her 17th birthday, as well as Bryna's 18th... Another excuse is made for me not to see her that day, and obviously I'm hanging out with Bryna that night, because we have to go to the bar (Twisted Element actually... yay us at a gay bar! ^_^ I had a lot of fun that night :) ) and Stacey is still too young.
Last week, Stacey tells me something. (( Side note: After our three month canoodling, I mentioned that I was DEFINITELY going to take off her pants the next time I got the chance...)) So last week she lets me know that she used to cut herself, which is why I haven't seen her legs yet... We 'talk' about it, she she doesn't mention why she did it, even when I asked her a direct question, she tells me "Just general life and high school stress".............. Some one doesn't trust her girlfriend of four and a half months to tell her the truth... hmm, weird.
Anyway, earlier this week, Our friend Alex contacts me through facebook, here's a screen cap....
And another, (but I don't want to share much more of the facebook message here, Maddie I'll show you everything when we hang out.........)
Reading that was the most hurt I'd ever felt until more information was shared. Long story short, my girlfriend of almost five months is hopelessly in love with somebody else, (somebody who, thankfully, wont even giver her a moment's notice anymore because Stacey is so psycho obsessive over her) and is using me for flattery, companionship and possibly my body. I rarely get anything back in this relationship I realized a couple days ago... She only asks me how I am when it's a convenient time to listen to my response, she doesn't make an effort to return any warm fuzzys (Thank you YW camp for the terminology), and she doesn't /try/ to see me....
I may have helped her stop burning herself for the first three and a half months, but I feel like everything I've inadvertently accomplished has been shot to pieces. Alex told Stacey she told me about everything... A good thing I think, only because it means I don't have to fake it on Tuesday, but a bad thing because I really really don't want to break up with her, and have her know why... I don't want to break up with her on tuesday because I know she loves Claire, or because I know she doesn't like me, or because I know she takes drugs that aren't her's to fall asleep, or because I KNOW she's such a fuck up.
I love this girl, and I want her to be okay. I don't want to leave her, but I have to retain my sense of being, I have to stop myself from being used or I'll just end up like my mother back when she was with Jason.. I don't want to be abused... I love her so much... maybe it's just the little pieces of her that she told me about that I initially fell in love with, but I want to fall in love with the rest of her too... I want her to open up to me, and I want her to give half a shit about me, the girl she's supposed to be with. It's unfair that I have to deal with this, and I know that I shouldn't, but if talking to her on Tuesday, reasoning with her, telling her how I feel about everything, can strengthen our relationship, instead of making it deteriorate, I will continue to give..... But to all who worry about me giving too much, and receiving too little (As I've done without fail in the past) I say: I'm not letting that happen this time. If I don't get anything in return for my love, if I don't get an effort to try to get over her shit, then Stacey's gone and out of my life. It'll suck, but I'll manage.
But I really fucking love her. I want her to be okay. I want her to love me, yes. I want her to care about me.. But I want her to be okay too..... I can't figure out which one I want more, and that's got me fucked up... Everyone so far has told me to break up with her, which is why I haven't told Maddie yet.. I want a stupid teenager's opinion on another stupid teenager's opinion.... (Maddie: not that you're a stupid teenager or anything, XD I guess we're both stupid adults now >_<)
I hate how fucked everything is... I want to be happy. I want the chance for my girlfriend to think I'm something other than a naive plaything... I want her to form me into the kind of person that can help her, the kind of person that she can talk to.
Apparently that bitch Claire -I guess she's not actually a bitch, but I have the immature human being's right to have that opinion of her... I hate her because Stacey loves her, and I also hate her because she doesn't love Stacey i suppose.... - Anyway, apparently Claire is the only thing that can fix her.
Am I too selfless in thinking that it would be okay if Stacey and Claire worked out and Stacey got better?? Still loving her, but seeing her happy being enough to get me by? Even after getting absolutely NOTHING out of our relationship anyway?
fml...
OH YEAH!
And I'm listening to Green Day again. All my Green Day songs are back on my iPod... Something I thought would never happen because they broke me so bad...
here's a facebook status, and some tweets from the past few days. Yesterday (14th) I was doing a bit better about everything, the day before (13th) was hell. I don't know how I got through it. Seriously.
This was because I was taking important secret steps and Trying to get Stacey to eat more secretly... I set a goal at 115lbs, and set her's at 120lbs.
Lyrics from AFI's Ever And A Day... How I felt when I was trying to fall asleep after Alex and I talked
yeah... I'm sorry it's hard to understand about me hating GD for four months.... weird, I know, but you have to believe me.... Worst day of my life until the 13th of this month.......... oh wow. Friday the 13th....
OH! And expect a post about Princess Leia (My puppy, RIP) soon, and a more complete update on my life too..
Anyway. Thanks for reading..... <3
-Dom | | |
| My name is impure0purest, and I hate it when my friends break edge promises.
(oh look! another twitter entry. I need a new phone, so I can make that work from there... >_<) | | |
| ADAM STRIPPER FIC!
Hmm.
Wait, I might not post this until I'm sure Maddie is gonna get his AFISlash account up and running...
Okay. So.. yeah, I'll just send it to [DF]Jess, and she can see it.
It's dedicated to both of you/them..
Maddie and Jess. Two of my best friends.
Okay
:) | | |
| Okay, so I'm here with Vikki, and like, I am SOOOOOO tired!
I'll give ya yesterday in chronological order :)
So, Vikky comes over, and I show her the last Heavy Metal Magazine, and then we kind of formulate a plan.. I give her a tour of the house... We chilled on the computer, and we ate Fake Chicken.. More computer happened, and then mom came back and we went grocery shopping for junk food.
Mom we came back home, unloaded the groceries, and then left to go to the X 92.9 studios, because Vikky talks often to one of the DJs. He was okay, very tall, but annoyingly against people who aren't skinny. That's not cool. But anyway, on our way back we went to 7-11, picked up Shoot 'Em Up for ten bucks, then to blockbuster where I was sad to find out I cannot rent anything, but we found fucking SNATCH!!! for only 6 bucks, and this movie that actually gave me nightmares, The Descent for 4 bucks... On the way back we almost got lost, but then we didn't because I eventually found avenues which lead me from Richmond Road back to a bus stop.. (we were lazy, and didn't want to wait for a bus, so we kept walking, at which point I lost the route.. >_< *facepalm*) We walked A LOT, waved at people in passing cars, flashed a couple people, and talked about things.. Dirty things XD
mmhmm!
So after we got home, we played this zombie killing game, called Left 4 Dead, in which I killed a bunch of Zombies.. it was awesome, :). I want a machine gun during the real Zombie Apocalypse... Then we watched the movie... These chicks were spelunking, and this one stupid bitch decided it would be cool to not tell anyone that they were in an unexplored cave, and these humanoid blind creatures killed an ate everyone... The movie was shit, but the creatures kept jumping out and I clutched my pillow and fell over almost everytime. I liked the lighting in the movie. At one point, all the girls were split up, and the creatures were all lit differently, some had a green tint, because of this glo-stick thing, some had a green-ISH tint because one of the girls was looking though night vision in a camera, and some had a red tint because of some fire, and the fact that it had crawled through this puddle of blood. There was also a yellow tint, but I forget where it came from... Anyway, after being scared a bajillion times, we went to bed.
I had this weird dream about this un-killable zombie thing that followed you around and jumped at you and tried to take bits of my fiends and I to re-create us or something. There was this really cute chick with long pink hair, and she was like my girlfriend or something, because I loved and worried about her the entire dream... There was lots of hiding involved, because we were all in this little house, that belonged to someone's grandma, who was dead, and I like, hid under a bed with the girl, and eventually when we actually got to trying to kill the thing, I found him trying to hide in the bathtub, and attempt to jump out and scare us, but I attacked him with a wooden flashlight and hit his head a bunch of times (the flashlight eventually turned into a bone O_o) and his skull was smashed flat and was oozing the same red and yellow goo that was the same colour as the cave creatures in the movie, and I thought he was dead, but he actually got up, and moved to the other room where my girlfriend and everyone else was. I screamed "Run!!" to them a bunch of times, mostly to her, and I waited like a few seconds, hearing people get ripped apart by this thing that should have been dead, and the girlfriend came out of the room, and we booked it to the door, ((I just assumed un-guiltily that the others were dead)) and we got out, then I woke up!
I'm not one to really have nightmares, and I feel like this doesn't even really count, because I'm only scared in the dream. I'm not ever scared at all once I'm awake, my heart is still pounding, but nothing ever lingers... BORING!! Oh well.
I went back to sleep a bunch of times, and at 11:00 The Evil Demon Sister woke me up by jumping on her bed. annoyingly, mom called only 10 minutes after that, and said we all had to get up.
Staying up 'till 3:30, and being woken up at 11:00 is NOT FUCKING FUN!!!
grrrrrr
But it's almost my turn to shower now, so I'll go :)
Maybe I'll post random links O_o
Click on things, kay??
<3
Ps, Lindsay. I'm cheating on you. And you'll never know, because you don't talk to me, or even read this anymore.
:(
You have fun with Jose, and I'll have fun with my mistress from Texas.
I'll miss you.
Maybe we'll be able to work things out, but I'm gonna wait for you to find me. | | |
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